This definitely resonated with me, as I was unhappy in a “fantastic” corporate job and failing at gratitude. Very interesting to understand the research behind this. I no longer force a journal practice, rather stop in a moment when I feel grateful and simply mark it.
When I started as a headhunter after leaving the Army, I 5x'ed my income in < 1 year. It was when I first realized that making money (and more than I "needed") certainly was good...
but it also removed all the surface level issues that got my attention. What was left was a lack of purpose an fulfillment.
When I shared that with anyone (especially colleagues from the military), I was met with the typical "you should be grateful for..." At 29, I retreated inward and felt a lot of shame and guilt. This ate away at me for years.
What it also did was start feeding a beleif that making money and feeling satisfied (extreinsic and intrinsic fulfillment) could not co-exist.
They can.
And, when I can ehlp others disentangle those beliefs, I feel even more fulfillment.
I like your discernment between empty and intentional gratitude. It reminded me of an evening ritual I started in college where I wrote down one positive thing that happened that day. Some days it was simple: made it to class on time, enjoyed an ice cream cone. Other days were more meaningful: passed an exam I was studying really hard for, got the internship I wanted, bonded with a professor I liked. At the end of each semester, I looked back and realized how many cool things actually happened when life moved so fast. This was so much more memorable than mindlessly listing buzzer words (although that is certainly important, too!).
Enjoyed reading your comments. All solid advice from my perspective. Most inspiring point was your final statement, to be grateful for ourselves. Will do my best to follow through with that in addition to being truly grateful for many other blessings in my world. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.
This definitely resonated with me, as I was unhappy in a “fantastic” corporate job and failing at gratitude. Very interesting to understand the research behind this. I no longer force a journal practice, rather stop in a moment when I feel grateful and simply mark it.
I can completely relate, Lindsey.
When I started as a headhunter after leaving the Army, I 5x'ed my income in < 1 year. It was when I first realized that making money (and more than I "needed") certainly was good...
but it also removed all the surface level issues that got my attention. What was left was a lack of purpose an fulfillment.
When I shared that with anyone (especially colleagues from the military), I was met with the typical "you should be grateful for..." At 29, I retreated inward and felt a lot of shame and guilt. This ate away at me for years.
What it also did was start feeding a beleif that making money and feeling satisfied (extreinsic and intrinsic fulfillment) could not co-exist.
They can.
And, when I can ehlp others disentangle those beliefs, I feel even more fulfillment.
I like your discernment between empty and intentional gratitude. It reminded me of an evening ritual I started in college where I wrote down one positive thing that happened that day. Some days it was simple: made it to class on time, enjoyed an ice cream cone. Other days were more meaningful: passed an exam I was studying really hard for, got the internship I wanted, bonded with a professor I liked. At the end of each semester, I looked back and realized how many cool things actually happened when life moved so fast. This was so much more memorable than mindlessly listing buzzer words (although that is certainly important, too!).
I love that, Sara.
In one of my companies, we had a ritual of sharing a quick wrap up for the day via Voxer. You had to speak the one thing you were proud of that day.
Like your practice, it gets you focused on what is happening versus the absence of something’s
That’s a powerful reframe for all our brains.
Thank you for sharing!
Enjoyed reading your comments. All solid advice from my perspective. Most inspiring point was your final statement, to be grateful for ourselves. Will do my best to follow through with that in addition to being truly grateful for many other blessings in my world. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks Karen.
Starting with gratitude for ourselves is a great reminder that we are always at choice.
Happy Thanksgiving!