It is curious how the first question we are asked - usually be a stranger in a social setting - after the dull weather conversation is over - ‘what brings you here’ or what do you do?’ Similar to that old question of ‘who are your people?’
Our paid work somehow defines us.
Which is sad right? I am still occasionally hit with the grief of no longer working in my favorite jobs. I wonder - what do we do with all the knowledge we accrued across those periods. Suddenly it is all useless somehow.
What stood out to me reading this post is the use of AI to clarify our thoughts. Getting AI to ask the questions. Fascinating stuff. Great post. Thank you.
Every sentence of this is familiar, a loop I've repeated more than once. The hardest part for me has been resisting the urge to fill the gap. Not busy feels like unproductive, inefficient, not moving forward. But sitting in it has led to something I didn't expect.
This post is near and dear to my heart! I just wrote a book about it..."Navigating Life After Work." I hope you can give it a read. We share many of the same suggestions for navigating this uncharted course.
Most of us understand the danger of attaching identity to something outside ourselves.
But you name the greater danger: attaching our operating system—and our feedback loop—to the job.
The crisis isn’t only that we don’t know who we are. It’s that we’ve lost the mechanism that was telling us.
No wonder we rush toward the next venture. We’re not just chasing purpose. We’re chasing the next feedback source.
What your exercise does—separating what we did from who we are—is reveal that our capacities were never confined to the role. They show up across our whole life.
I may not be an executive, but this feels like a vital mirror for mid-career introverts at any level. As introverts we tend to over-invest and stay in roles far too long out of loyalty, letting the professional mask fuse with our actual identity until it’s almost impossible to shake off.
It’s that "double identity" growing into our private selves that makes the hangover feel so heavy. Thank you for naming the disorientation that comes when the person finally outgrows the performance.
So many great nuggets! It took me back to being in those moments - EEks! But that's what make this all so true. I wish I had know it was grief because I went flailing through all the stages!
It is curious how the first question we are asked - usually be a stranger in a social setting - after the dull weather conversation is over - ‘what brings you here’ or what do you do?’ Similar to that old question of ‘who are your people?’
Our paid work somehow defines us.
Which is sad right? I am still occasionally hit with the grief of no longer working in my favorite jobs. I wonder - what do we do with all the knowledge we accrued across those periods. Suddenly it is all useless somehow.
What stood out to me reading this post is the use of AI to clarify our thoughts. Getting AI to ask the questions. Fascinating stuff. Great post. Thank you.
Every sentence of this is familiar, a loop I've repeated more than once. The hardest part for me has been resisting the urge to fill the gap. Not busy feels like unproductive, inefficient, not moving forward. But sitting in it has led to something I didn't expect.
Sitting in that gap is tough. It’s something I’ve experienced more than once post-corporate.
And, like you, it has led to many things I never expected :-).
This post is near and dear to my heart! I just wrote a book about it..."Navigating Life After Work." I hope you can give it a read. We share many of the same suggestions for navigating this uncharted course.
I would love to check it out.
Most of us understand the danger of attaching identity to something outside ourselves.
But you name the greater danger: attaching our operating system—and our feedback loop—to the job.
The crisis isn’t only that we don’t know who we are. It’s that we’ve lost the mechanism that was telling us.
No wonder we rush toward the next venture. We’re not just chasing purpose. We’re chasing the next feedback source.
What your exercise does—separating what we did from who we are—is reveal that our capacities were never confined to the role. They show up across our whole life.
The feedback was never only at work.
We just forgot where else to look.
I really like how you came at this, Guy.
Ceding our Agency anywhere in life is a dangerous thing.
I may not be an executive, but this feels like a vital mirror for mid-career introverts at any level. As introverts we tend to over-invest and stay in roles far too long out of loyalty, letting the professional mask fuse with our actual identity until it’s almost impossible to shake off.
It’s that "double identity" growing into our private selves that makes the hangover feel so heavy. Thank you for naming the disorientation that comes when the person finally outgrows the performance.
Thank you, Ania. I think you are correct. The “hangover” impacts more than just executives.
So many great nuggets! It took me back to being in those moments - EEks! But that's what make this all so true. I wish I had know it was grief because I went flailing through all the stages!
Thanks, my friend.
I’ve flailed through my fair share of grief as well :-).